My grandmother died last night. I don't know the details because my Mom could not talk on the phone, she was trying to find some documents that my grandfather put away; he was crying, she was crying... I tried to calm her down, tell her that the papers are somewhere around, to take a deep breath, but she told me she could not speak now and the line went dead.
I am very sad, but I cannot even imagine how she feels now. My grandmother was in a bad shape, in a hospital for a while, but only in the last week, her condition went from serious to critical. It wasn't a specific disease, she was ill for a long time - she had diabetes, weak heart and kidneys, arthritis... a few months ago she ended up in emergency surgery for hernia, and she basically was too weak to recover. I was actually thinking she would make it, but a few days ago her kidneys shut down and then it was just a matter of days...
Up until this surgery my grandma and grandpa were able to take care of themselves. Mom was helping a lot, but they lived on their own and she did not have to be around them all the time. But ever since my grandma ended up in hospital my mom was with her almost every day. And at the same time she took care of my grandpa, whose health also deteriorated since she went to the hospital. Now he sometimes does not even recognize my sister and she thinks that my mom still lives with him. One day he went to look for her, but could not find her house. We all are afraid that it might not be long before he goes too. They are one of those couples who could not do without each other.
I am very sad but I am not crying much. I feel bad for my mom; I feel bad I cannot be there for her. But on the other hand I feel a little relieved - my grandma is not in pain anymore and my mom deserves a break. I don't think she would be able to take much more of running around almost 24/7 taking care of everybody. She is very strong, but everybody has a limit.
I lived my my grandparents on two occasions for a few months. The first time was when I was 12; I had mono and my sister was just a baby so it was decided I go and stay with them until I get better. The next time was when I was 14, and we were moving from to a new apartment that wasn't ready on time, but we already sold our old one. My parents did not want me to change schools for my last semester of 8th grade, and my grandparents lived close, so I stayed with them again.
I loved my grandma, and I loved spending time with her. Even before I stayed with them I used to walk from our neighborhood to theirs to spend an afternoon doing stuff with her. We would bake cookies, draw, sing songs, share secrets, make stuff... she was a lot of fun, and she told fun stories from her youth. We laughed a lot and she always had chocolates saved for me (my mom was not supposed to know). She used to have a little bird that she would whistle along with, but then she got allergic and had to give her away. She taught me how to sew and do needlework. And that stayed with me, and will stay with me for ever! She was a very good and kind person. She never said a bad thing about anybody (except some very mean people in our family) and she would share anything with us. I am so sorry she had to suffer in the end. She did not see a doctor for three! years, and my mom was trying to get her to go for a few months before this surgery. But she would not go, she said she was afraid that once she went to the hospital, she would never come back home. And that's exactly what happened.

I loved my grandma and I am very sad now. I hope the pain is gone and she is resting now.